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I didn’t know what she was talking about. ’What the fuck are The Beatles? I’m Yoko Ono! Treat me as me!’From the day I met her she demanded equal time, equal space, equal rights. She told him she’d love to be with him if he’d grow up and be himself instead of being one of the lads. He was bored, he’d done all he could with these guys, it was time to move out and get his own apartment. She told him to his face what he couldn’t admit to himself. She went from putting on shows on three continents and collaborating with the best artists of her time, to helping overgrown pop boy move out of his fraternity house. The superstar avant-garde artist married a drunken pop star losing interest in the only thing he’d ever done as an adult. The problem is, beatleflimflams, you have it backwards. What makes she think she’s a musician? What makes John Cage think he was a composer? What made Laurie Anderson think she was a singer? What made Ornette Coleman think he could play a plastic saxophone? What made George Maciunas think he could swipe her ideas and call them Fluxus? What made La Monte Young think drones were music when he performed at one of her Chambers Street loft concerts? What made all these artists come to her? What made John climb that ladder? Janis Ian, Janis Joplin, but no Jap artists please. Or sexy and drunk and die young while they’re still pretty. My guitar mentally screeches but she can’t sing like that. Jimmy Plagiarism can shatter our eardrums all night, copping ideas from all over Asia and we’ll burn our fat stupid fingers with our cigarette lighters but out of a woman’s mouth? Oh no no no. Whatthefucksishedoingthere? How dare this (Yes I’m A) witch get on stage with John Lennon and Eric Clapton? How dare a woman add her voice to our noise? When we unzip and wave our guitars around in front of an audience we want one thing from open-mouthed women and it is nofuckingwayNOT outdoing us and making our guitars go all limp. He didn’t believe in Beatles but they did. The ones who wanted nothing more than to be part of the coolestboysclubEVER until Their Hero said, no thanks. The ones who think John Lennon was a genius except for when he married someone smarter than him. It’s music when it comes from a thrusting pelvis. Suddenly the rocknrolldudes are so tremendously offended by this noise that they cannot seem to summon enough vicious racist misogynist venom for it, and the woman making it. Suddenly the noise is not rock&roll dude.
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Fists pump and the crowd screams “rock on dude!” But what if the face belongs to an Asian woman who was performing internationally before any of these men were born? Then the rocking-on dudes are screaming something very different. If the face is a white man, and the atonal noise is blasting out of an electric guitar, hell yes. The same night (24 November 1961), the Beatles played “Operation Big Beat II” at the Tower Ballroom, New Brighton.